#003: What IS A Kemosabe?

Kemosabe,

Unless you grew up watching ‘The Lone Ranger’ or been to the shop in Aspen, Colorado with the same name, chances are Kemosabe is a brand new word for you. And considering it’s how I address my readers, it makes sense to answer the question that’s likely swirling inside your noggin.

What exactly IS a Kemosabe?

Fans of The Lone Ranger claim it means faithful friend or trusty scout. Others resort to resources that predate the black and white show and claim it’s a Native American word for ‘soggy shrub’. How I mean it, depends on who you are.

If you’re someone who believes in humanity, then Hearth & Harrow considers you a faithful friend or trusty scout.

If you’re someone who bitches about humanity every chance they get, then you’re a soggy shrub and nobody likes you.

But I get it. I ain’t naïve to the everyday corruption eroding us and our communities and the helplessness we feel in stopping it. It’s hard not to be a sodden twat when justice is in short supply. But that mentality only breathes more life into the doom and gloom of reality and nations of demoralized, soggy shrubs aren’t what we need to push forward.

What we need are Kemosabes.

That’s why it isn’t just a friendly formality, but also my trigger word.

See, I have a tendency to take life far too seriously and be a soggy shrub myself. And that’s a serious problem. Because not only does no one like me, but that’s when my stories become a piping hot pile of excrement that no one wants to read.

So, to avoid being a hypocrite, I sprinkle in this simple reminder to enjoy the process, to have fun, and to ‘lighten the fuck up’.

How does addressing you as “Kemosabe” do that? It all comes down to how I read it. In fact, you can try it yourself.

Say “Ke-mo-sah-bee” in the most stereotypical Japanese accent you can muster. I don’t know why I chose a Japanese accent, maybe because it somewhat rhymes with wasabi. Nonetheless, it’s what works for me. As soon as I overemphasize the syllables it immediately sparks memories of South Park.

The energy that Trey Parker and Matt Stone bring to their storytelling is the same energy I want to bring to mine. There’s many reasons why so many people love their work and for me ‘the don’t take life so seriously vibe’ is one of them. It’s how you build a loyal fanbase and stick around doing what you love since 97’.

But there’s something else.

You don’t have to read my stories. I do. Many times over. And even I don’t want to read thousands of finely crafted words of bitching and complaining. It may be therapeutic and I may even gain a temporary following, but screaming into the ether and preying on people’s anger-fueled emotions isn’t useful for anyone’s longevity. And it definitely doesn’t inspire one’s inner Kemosabe.

In fact, it evokes the wrong message entirely.

It’s kind of like I’m screaming "vanilla paste" while everyone thinks I’m saying "cuttlefish and asparagus". Forewarning, once you see it, you’ll never be able to unsee it. It is age-restricted so you'll have to venture to the tube to watch it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYau50hLBrA

The HumancentiPad is a traumatizing reminder to avoid producing stories I wouldn’t want to ingest myself.

And that, is why I refer to you as, Kemosabe.

The more you know.

 From the Fireside,

D.